My life has the hiccups these days. I don’t know why. But many, many little things are not proceeding smoothly as planned. Sometimes, the cosmos arranges itself so that a few really big things go nutso in my life, but recently, for the past three weeks or more, a cascade of little things has been burping, hiccupping, glitching, and crashing down around my ears.
While none of these little things seem to be related, it feels like they are all related to some vibe in the ethers. It feels like the universe is giddily tossing bolts into the gears of my life.
First and foremost, my bank quit speaking to my online money manager. Finances have been a very weak part of my skill set for my whole life, so I was thrilled when programs began to show up on my computer that could help me keep a handle on my money and where it was going. Suddenly, that security is gone. Mess with my money, and I start to go crazy…
Yikes! My fingers have been clicking on the keyboard furiously, searching for help so that I can once again know that my financial world is in order. So far, the bank remains mute and the “let us help you” reply emails have proven unhelpful.
Also in the techno world, many of my online payment accounts have been telling me I can’t log in anymore. “Invalid Password or Username. “ ‘Scuse me? I’ve been using that name and password for a year—what happened?
My email account informed me that it did not want to let me in because of “suspicious activity.” Just kicked me right out. So I called Apple and said, “Is something going on funny with my computer?” Nope. All’s supposedly well in the guts of my Mac.
I hurry to Staples to purchase new money manager software for my computer. Quicken, maybe? “Sorry, but your computer is too old to work with this new software, “ I’m told.
My mind starts running away with me. Is it sunspots? Is China hacking my machine? Is the whole Internet going crazy and taking me with it? Or are all these glitches only happening to me?
Now the hiccups in my technical world have spread to infect my sourdough starter. I’ve had nothing but raging success making bread the last couple of months, and suddenly, I take something from the oven yesterday that looks like a cast-iron pot lid (see photo).
My self watches myself begin to morph into paranoia. How silly, says my Big Mind to my Little Pissy Mind. Just let it go like water off a duck’s back.
Shut up, says my Pissy mind to my Big Mind.
My Big Mind grabs hold of my body and sends me off into the forest in the midst of a cold, wet drizzle. The dogs are so happy to come along! Mazel shoves sticks into my hand to throw for him, and Hannah dashes off across the ridges to chase squirrels who saw her coming and are long gone. Darter, the cat, follows along, yowling loudly because she’s getting her toes wet. My feet slip on soggy leaves, and I stop to watch Carter bend over to pick up a small fossil of some ancient worm.
For that time in the forest, sanity is restored to my soul. When we return from the forest, we return wet and refreshed and baptized, and I cut a piece of bread from my pot-lid loaf. It tastes pretty good, actually.
I hear a soft rustling from behind me, and turn to face Cookie, who has discovered the cat litter box. Her happy face tells me how grand a morning she has had, drenching herself in damp cat urine.
And so it goes…
Maybe the Universe is trying to tell us something. I have a couple of things that have started showing up on my computer when I try to check my email. I think I may have been hacked in some way, but it is a small annoyance at this point. Or, I sure hope it is!! I think living close to nature and being able to go out to walk and discover whatever is put before you that day is nature’s way of taking care of you and settling your mind. And if your bread tasted good, no matter what it looked like, then all was well. Someday I hope to live in a place like that.
Also, when my recent car insurance bill (computer generated…)came to me last week, it was billing me for a car I’d sold over a year ago. They had NO record of my new car, even though I had mail from them confirming the insurance policy on my new Honda. Something is afoot?? Yes, thank good for the reality of the forest. The trees never send me error notices!
Oh Susan! I too have had moments like you are experiencing! Come to think of it, none of it ever did make any bit of sense. I always felt it ot be some sort of test, to test how strong I could be darting around amongst all those misshaps- to see which one would actually make me crack. However, I never did crack, and they all evetually went away, or were figured out, or were taken care of. And then the sun would come out again- and all would be well again. Sometimes, the sun just takes alot more time to come out for us, than other times. In the meantime we have to wait and work things out, and pray more than usual.
Oh, *le sigh*…..the hiccups in the course of our days are put there so we will slow down and laugh at our well laid plans. I laugh a lot…..and then I go bake cookies. Love to you Susan!!
Our pets seem very happy. So do the wild creatures we see in the woods. The techno-burps seem to affect only us humans. It makes us crazy, but not the critters. It seems to me that the construct we humans have created is contrary to nature. Nature moves on happily while our anti-Nature world falls apart. Makes you wonder,l doesn’t it?